Mom went outside to take pictures of the blue truck for some odd reason when she saw me laying on the bumper. She was very upset to see me there because there’s nothing but mud around the truck. The mud has green stuff too because the puddles sat there for a long time since we got a lot of rain. It’s kinda gross looking.

Mom of course had to give me a lecture about getting dirty. Mom forgets I am a very good jumper. It wasn’t difficult at all to jump from the grass to the truck. I never even touched the muddy gravel path! But she just keeps on lecturing me. Blah Blah Blah.

I got confused when Mom sniffed the air and then walked closer to me and took another sniff. Then I remembered I’d been climbing around underneath the blue truck earlier and that I had kinda sorta but not really swiped some nice smelling scraps from the trash can…oops.

Uh oh, I think she’s onto me. Quick! Don’t look her in the eye, Moms have the ability to know when you’re guilty by meeting their eyes!

I don’t think she’s buying it this time….

Wait, did she just say the b-word? Noooooo! Please, Mommy, anything but that! You can stick me on a diet, force feed me diet pills and vitamins. You can even keep me in the house for a month. But please, for the love of all that is good, do not give me a BATH!!